Courting in the modern world

[StormCommando]

I have often wondered about this: has 'dating' always been how courting works? It appears as if most people throughout their lives have several partners before perhaps settling down later in life and maybe having a child or a dog, in their expensive apartments which they've slaved away and sold their soul to be able to afford. This seems strangely unnatural - if a woman in, say, 1800 had sex before marriage she would be considered a slut - no? So how did this 'courting' thing work - did a man simply find a woman he liked and then ask her hand in marriage?

Seems like the total opposite these days, and women and men alike sleep around until they find 'the one' or something analogous to that. When did this change even occur? I am not sure. And I also find it strange this is never talked about among traditionalists, as if this modern model of courtship is somehow wholesome or acceptable.

[auslander_raus]

When did this change even occur?

It started in the late '60's and hit second gear in the '70's.
By the '80's cocaine and discoing hit and lowered inhibitions further, hooking up became common.

Now everything is either a doughnut or a hot dog, or even both.

[Lampshadeburg]

I have this gut feeling that in a healthy society, most men and women would be compatible with one another. So it really wouldn't matter who you ended up with.

In current year, 25% of women are on mental health drugs. 1/3 of our young women are fatties. And our men are videogame, pornography, or drug addicts (or several of those things) who aspire to nothing more than doing more drugs, jerking off to more porn, or buying the latest expansion pack.

[Pikajew]

did a man simply find a woman he liked and then ask her hand in marriage?

He asked her FATHER for her hand, actually. For the change... look up the Sexual Revolution.

[somedaysoon]

1/3 of our young women are fatties

Closer to 1/2 if my drive by a popular swimming area today was any indication.

On reflection,it might well be worse than 1/2. I'm thinking that the fatties I saw waddling around today are the ones that are shameless enough to be out in public in cutoffs and tank tops in summer.

It's conceivable that a few are still posessed of enough agency to not show off their rolls.

Hey...memeable pun for fat chicks,if it hasn't already been done-

"Roll model"

[auslander_raus]

still posessed of enough agency

Yer killin' me !!

[Samureich]

The jew are to blame.

Betas did nothing wrong.

[Maffoo]

Men met women at social functions such as church events and dances/ceilidhs.

Communities were smaller so people tended to know the other families and so the lines were somewhat blurred between 'arranged marriage' and 'marrying for love'.

Everyone just knew everyone else because cohesion and community were such important things. So you would have a small pool of girls of the appropriate age of say 13-22 and either talk to her father or her directly.

It sounds insane that you would just talk to a girls father a few times and then set a date for marriage, or marry a girl because she caught your eye at the country dance. But these were in the days were

1) men enforced standards of behaviour on women so really your instincts would serve you well - if you are attracted to the girl and she comes from a good family etc she will be well mannered and polite and civil and will respond to your orders.

2) fathers retained ownership (coverture) of daughters so really the only way you were getting pussy was with his blessing. Fathers arent going to say 'sure, make a whore out of my daughter' they are going to expect commitment and forward thinking. Guys want pussy, so they go through the appropriate channels to get it.

It may seem odd, like people just got married 'on a whim' but marriages lasted almost always til death because the girls were monogamous and by that i mean one partner EVER.

The women were properly in line so the husband would mould them and also have sex with them when he wanted. This female obedience, is the cornerstone of a successful marriage. Courtship wasnt like dating now where you try loads of people out to find the one that fits... The soulmate. Its all so stupid. I know guys who say things like 'i could never date a girl who didnt like football/play call of duty'. Its pathetic. Looking for personal validation from a woman..

When women knew their role was to serve men, once you found one that gave you that feeling, that mix of lust and just wanting to have them and their admiration and to make them all yours and nobody elses... That, combined with the woman's submissiveness, was enough for a happy marriage.

It seems strange to men now because women are so unbearable that men have to look for years to find one they can actually put up with and women are allowed to take on totally dysfunctional expectations of their role in the relationship

[Maffoo]

As you know @stormcommando i have recently broken up with my girl and i am very much leaning towards replicating these traditional, healthy attitudes to courtship in my own life.

So for example, i will follow certain rules

1) no talking (beyond civility and politeness) to women to whom i am not related. In olden days this would be considered creepy and like you were leading the girl on or something. The only time i will talk to a girl is when i am seriously sexually interested in her as in 'she is hot enough to marry'.

2) no whores. By that i mean any woman with any sexual history. Women have 1 job. To keep it in their pants til a husband comes along and tells them what to do. Tbh any woman who has been fucked by another man is spoiled goods. It really is disgusting when you think about it. Two men sharing a woman. Getting into it with some slut who does it without any expectation of marriage or even money. At least prostitutes respect themselves enough to demand payment. So yeah, i wont date anyone with any sexual history.

3) no porn. Obviously looking at other women is not something you would have gotten away with in old times so it shouldnt be done now that it is possible to do it in secrecy

4) no sex before marriage. This seems so bizarre in modern life but i think it is essential. Subconsciously a womans sex is her power. If she can tempt you and lead you away from this healthy course its showing her that she has power over you.

5) no contraception. She needs to get good and knocked up and to know thats her purpose.

I think replicating a healthier kind of life is very important. Dating habits or all round sexual hygeine is dire in modern life. These traditions all served a purpose.

We shouldnt be tempting or confusing ourselves by spending time in the company of woman. Any woman you spend time eith is going to see you as weak and gay and will feminise you.

The chances of this actually culminating in finding a girl who is a submissive virgin is very low, but i guess i will just have to use prostitites every now and then or something, that to me is FAR less damaging than hanging around girls all the time listening to their stupid babble. If you are just fulfillling a need in these dire times, theres no problem with it, i mean we are guys. We need sex. Paying a woman for it is not emasculating. Going on 5 dates and listening to her narcissistic empty-headed warbling about how crazy her and her galpals are while you wait for her to put out, is very, VERY emasculating.

We have to try and hold ourselves to the standards we want all of society to get back to. With that said, when our women are bearable again, we shouldnt be using prostitutes, we should be knocking up our wives. But for now it is slightly better than total abstinence and MUCH better than engaging in modern courtship.

Whatever you do. DO NOT ENGAGE IN MODERN COURTSHIP.

Honestly I hope to meet a girl of age like 14-15 who is pretty and was raised Christian and in a good home with a decent mother and father, and for that i would gladly wait without sex until i could marry her at 16 and knock her up straight away.

Anyone who wants to countersignal that (muh paedophilia) is countersignalling their own ancestors and buying into jewy arguments that teenage girls should be 'living life' aka slutting it around, blowing dicks and going to college to do womens studies and become a ceo.

No. At 14 or 15, they are ready to be given away to a husband. That is when they are approaching their prime. Id say, honestly, it should be courtship at 14, marriage at 15, pregnant at 16 because at that age they are young enough that they will learn from you and obey your leadership. She will also push all her childish romance fantasies onto you and see you as that prince charming she has dreamed of. All this 'she is still a child' stuff is nonsense designed to break down healthy pairing patterns and courtship rituals. Women are always children, really.

Why waste the years when they are most attractive??? Girls looks peak at 15-17. Thats because they are the prime courting years. So according to nature thats when you should be courting. Well lets say after 3 months of that you marry. There is no protection so she is going to be pregnant within a year at the most.

The longer after 16 they are single, the more ugly and resentful they become.

All that, to me, is a functional approach to courtship.

[Mosin-Nagant]

I was lucky enough to wise up and walk away from my now dead-to-me ex. I tried "courting" her. Trying to be Mr. Interesting and fun. Didn't work. All she wanted was favors (go get me groceries) and goddamn money.

She's now fat, unattractive, single, has 3 kids with 2 different men, and living with her parents. Also (karma) recently totalled her new car by hitting a deer

Women don't respond to "courting". They just expect resources and gibs. They're basically niggers tbh

[RenaissanceMan]

Let me know how that works out for you.

[Maffoo]

Well women are all corrupt in this day and age. You might find some amish girl somewhere but other than that we have to destroy the feminist state that upholds slut culture before we can focus on fixing our women.

So it'll probably just be prostitutes til after rahowa.

[Askeladden]

I have often wondered about this: has 'dating' always been how courting works?

For the vast majority of our history, most of us lived in villages where everyone knew everyone else. And even in cities, neighbourhoods worked more or less the same before the automobile. So a couple had usually known each other since childhood.
Most courtship occurred during social events, like folk dances or balls. To do something alone together, like go for a walk, meant things were getting serious, a prelude to marriage. Very common was to ask her to go for a walk, in order to propose.
I think Lampshadeburg hit it spot on when he pointed out mate selection was not the risky business it is now. The real challenge wasn't to find an acceptable mate - most people were acceptable mates. It was more about social factors, like were you marrying up or down, would the union be economically beneficial to both families, etc etc

[8Man]

.. if a woman in, say, 1800 had sex before marriage she would be considered a slut - no? So how did this 'courting' thing work ..?

Maybe you haven't heard of the "bundling board"?

Bundling was a practice run at marital compatibility under the family roof, with bundling boards and sacks serving to keep the runners apart. Couples didn't always obey the ground rules and jumped their lanes.

Check out the spicy details at: Courtship, Sex, and the Single Colonist
and Bundle Me, Baby!

[CommodvsDetritvs]

Up until the middle of the 20th century, people didn't move around as much, and men ended up marrying the girl they teased or tossed a frog at when they were 5 or 6. They might get married at age 18 but they knew each other from childhood.

[JJJ]

i wouldn't mind arranged marriages. they absolutely work.
that's how most of the actor couples met eachother, granted they might not work out or get divorced in the end, but that is because celebrities are horrible people.
but most actors who got arranged to play leading roles end up as a couple or get married.

[HamishBaxter]

The 'courting' thing varied widely in Britain, across the centuries, classes and regions (esp. town vs countryside). Before the puritanism of the Victorian era, sexual morals were slightly more relaxed, especially in the working classes, and living together without marriage was common. This was particularly the case when women worked alongside men in the same tasks, and might be financially more independent. Although it would be assumed that pregnancy would bring marriage with it.

The blind-eye turned to sex before marriage (if the couple was a stable one) was particularly understandable in country areas, where a couple needed a large family to be economically viable (children as workers). It would be understood that the men would marry his girlfriend on her getting pregnant, but it would also be a useful way to know that he wasn't marrying (and shackling himself for life) to a reproductive dud. Because in country life, this would signal potential financial ruin for him. However, the Victorian era was the White Sharia of its day, and ushered women back into the home and off the streets from a previously laxer era in Georgian times. This made life difficult for working class women, who often HAD to work to survive, even within marriage, as the implication was that as working women, and women who were not recluded, they were not 'respectable'.

But much of courtship is tied up with economic cycles - when the economy tanks, marriage rates plummet, as men cannot support a family easily, because work is unstable or precarious. And it's what we are seeing now. Our ruling class know this, just as they knew it then. But now as then, they simply don't give a fuck.

[Lampshadeburg]

No thread on dating is complete without this handy chart:

[bijuz]

Yeah, 19th century, single women were not talking to strangers or going anywhere unescorted. This is even referenced in Downton Abbey, where an adult couple is in a dining room alone together, and it is oddly intimate, jsut being alone and eating.
The industrial revolution changed things by urbanizing and letting women have an income and freedom. Stupid prohibition led to women drinking outside the home, in mixed company.

There were institutional systems thereafter, mainly school and church related. Coeducation also screwed things up, as mixers became redundant.

Oh yeah, there was a big paper on some American Colonial colony, presumably Massachusetts, that analyzed birth and marriage records, among others. The findings were that premarital copulation was surely happening at a steep rate, but that either women were waiting untill at least engaged, or pregnancy led to hasty betrothal. The stigma of bastardy was no joke.

[HamishBaxter]

Hmmm... A nice idea, but I don't think the second chart is strictly accurate. Looks more like Utopian pie-in-the-sky. The bottom ranking males are unlikely to be in employment and have mental health/violence/criminality/addiction problems, all of which are not conducive to life-long monogamous pair-bonding. (Similarly females at the bottom would be as undesirable with similar issues leading to unsuccessful relationships, especially trying to do so with individuals just as afflicted.) Social status and money also skews things, so ranking is subjective - a female who is a 4 physically (e.g. Tori Spelling) is treated like a 9 when Daddy is a billionaire. Similarly, how to categorise Philip Green's daughter and her jailbird mulatto?

Finally, with the first chart, thanks to mass third world immigration, even our 1 and 2 category females can now get laid, and let the government play daddy.